Does This Make Sense?

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

By Elizabeth Godber 

Does it make sense,
that I feel like I’m a proper adult now?

Once you reach eighteen.
It can mess with your mind like that.
The silent epidemic.
The stigma, everyone knows it.
The stigma working its way into your brain.

You’re always trying to be the best
of what yourself could be.
Show the outside only
what you want them to see.
So I saved up my money,
lived in a grotty hostel,
waiting to get a job on the Westend.
Took a job on a cruise.
and auditioned for two talent shows
I didn’t get a call back.
I spoke French.
Spoke Spanish.
Taught myself Arabic.
Ran a Ten K for charity.
Stayed with my family.
Went to mosque.
Went to church.
Went to alternative therapy.
Recycled.
Tried to think about the environment,
and still all people ever told me,
was that it was part of me.

Everything you do
could make you feel embarrassed,
and I miss the freedom that I used to have,
but I’m a proper adult now.

And maybe I’m not being as clear as I would’ve liked
but I guess that’s typical of me.
And I’m not going to tell my grandparents.
And I’m not going to tell my friends,
Because I feel like I’m a proper adult now,
Living for that Sunday-only weekend.

Wasting energy.

I feel like I’m constantly in suspense.

Does that make sense?

  
ELIZABETH GODBER
Elizabeth Godber is a writer from Hull. She studied BA Creative Writing and English at the University of Hull and MA Writing for Performance and Publication at the University of Leeds. Elizabeth is interested in found and verbatim language, and spoken word poetic forms.

NOTES:
‘Does This Make Sense?’ is a poetry film made by Elizabeth Godber as a part of the Random Acts initiative – helping young emerging artists make art films.
The poem is a verbatim piece, based on the worries of 26 interviewees under 26, and was then shaped into a poem by Elizabeth – who recites it in the film.
The film is all shot in Hull, East Yorkshire, England, predominantly in the old fruit market.
All of the club shots are with local students in the city.
The poem is about ambition, identity and life as a millennial in today’s society.

One thought on “Does This Make Sense?

  1. Beautifully filmed and performed. I’m interested in stitching together ‘found words’ too, so this is particularly inspiring for me. Excellent production values.

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